Some of my male friends have asked me to write this blog, because they are tired of their women being selfish lovers. The masses have spoken women, so here goes. This will be a three part post, this being part one. The first question to ask is 1.) Why are women so selfish in the bedroom?
Why are women so selfish in the bedroom?
For starters, you cannot label someone a selfish lover if you do not ask for what you want. Women are not mind readers, we want to satisfy our men. A woman does not feel comfortable knowing that her man is walking around sexually frustrated. If we can satisfy those needs, without degrading ourselves, then we will meet those needs. However, we are not talking about those women, we are talking about the selfish lovers. Selfish lovers oftentimes are not aware that they are selfish. They believe that the (little) will compensate for much. For starters, if your man is the one giving you oral but you frown upon it, you are selfish. If he is the only one that is being adventurous and creative in the bedroom, such as; role playing, using things to satisfy you, ANYTHING, that will get you to reach your climax, then you are selfish. Stop being a lazy lover, you have to keep the fire burning. If he likes you to role play, then play along, get wigs, outfits, pumps, do your makeup, whatever it takes, do it! Even if you are not in the mood, try to do something that can satisfy him for that moment. Let’s not be surreptitious here, we are GROWN and we need to talk like GROWN folks.
Come and talk to me is what you should be saying to your partner. Ask your partner to educate you on his wants and dislikes. You may have had a previous partner that liked PDA (Public Display of Affection) but your current partner may be apprehensive. You may think you know what pleases your current partner but until you ask them what they like, you are still in the dark. Don’t try to guess, just be humble and ask. Trust me, he wants to tell you but be patient, and don’t judge, it may be outside of your freak-o-meter tolerance. Ladies, stop acting like you are above certain things in the bedroom. Don’t get me wrong, it is up to each partner to decide what is outside of their comfort zone. Besides that, you and your partner should keep an open mind in the bedroom department.
“I want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed” – Ludacris
This couldn’t be a more truer statement from a man. They want their woman to be classy in the street but the complete opposite in the bedroom. Why? Who knows? Honestly speaking, woman you are not losing your classiness by becoming a super freak for your man. Remember, you are being a freak for your MAN, not EVERY man. You get it?! Don’t be a selfish lover, but keep him wanting more. I subscribe to this statement and have not had any complaints. Plain and simple, If he asks you to satisfy him by giving him Roger! Yes, a Roger is a old British term, look it up. I am trying to keep it as clean as possible here. If he ask you to give him a Roger, then give him a Roger. If you ask him to go deep sea diving, then he should be suited up in his scuba gear. Now you follow me?! Ok, Phew…thought I lost you for a second. Frankly speaking, there is no room for partners to be selfish of what they will or will not do for their mate.
Ladies, men need you to know two things. First off, they need respect and sex. Secondly, they want sex all the time. The only time a man will turn down sex is…let’s face it, they NEVER turn down sex. I know you may be annoyed because it appears as though I am siding with them. Not to mention, I am giving details on what you are doing wrong. I am not negating the fact that men can be selfish lovers but this not their time to be blasted. All I am trying to do is open your eyes to ways you may be selfish. I want you to be a giver and have a mindset of, he is mine, it is my duty to satisfy MY man. If you can grasp that concept and abide by that, then you are sure to have a healthy sexual relationship with your mate.
I am curious of your input, please leave a comment on the page.
Stay tuned for Part II: How to spice up your sex life
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