Oral sex, yes, let’s dive into this juicy topic. I know most people are going to have their nose in the air but heck, I can handle that. Let me explain, most of you want to front (PRETEND) like you are not engaging in the act of. However, this is a new day and age, where it is becoming more and more acceptable. Therefore, there’s no need for us to be so shrewd. In fact, I need you all to get a glass of wine, or your drink of choice and lay back and rap with me for a bit. Now before I go on, this is not a post for those of you who have no desire to have oral sex. Nor, is this a post for male or female, to use this as a forum to bash how unskilled your partners may be. More or less, this is going to be an educational and honest, feel good post. LOL! May I go on? Ok, let’s break this juicy topic into sections and expound upon what’s really going on in our bedrooms.
1) The “Bedroom Princess”
Fellas, I’ve heard your complaints, now ladies, it’s time for you to listen or adhere to, some, if not, all of the complaints. How can you identify if you are a “Bedroom Princess?” Well, let’s list some of the signs to use as a cross reference. a) Do you despise the idea of sweating? b) Do you expect him to be content with giving you oral only? c) Have you ever been told you are a selfish lover? d) Does the idea of him wanting you to give him oral flabbergast you? e) All of the above. Ok, now that you have an idea of what a “Bedroom Princess” looks like, if you checked one or more off this list, you my dear are the wretched “Bedroom Princess.” Lucky for you, this is not a disease, there is hope for you. You can get help for your selfish and lazy bedroom ways. For starters, you can begin by taking a class on the art of effectively giving a “BJ” (Blow Job). Yes, there are classes that are conducted at certain locations in your area. Please check out the helpful links below for assistance.
Let’s get to the meat and potatoes here. If you think that a relationship can sustain itself by you not performing oral on your partner, you are sadly mistaken. Trust me, if he does not get it from you, he is getting it elsewhere. Majority of men want oral sex, there might be the 1% that don’t and those are the ones that are so sedated with porn, that they get more pleasure with (Palm and her five sisters) masturbation. Those men have gone so long without the touch or feel of a woman, they can only release by pleasuring themselves. Real talk! In a nutshell, stop being a “DIVA” and put some effort in finding ways to keep your man’s toe’s curling in the bedroom. A relationship is a two-way street. The same way you expect to be pleased, he expects the same in return. Stop worrying about how degrading it may appear. Get down and dirty, as far as your “freak-o-meter” will allow. Now, before I move on, if you thought this was rated-R, this was the PG part. I would advise you not proceed if you couldn’t handle this first part; it only gets more explicit.
2) Her name is not “Buffy the Body or Pinky” and he is no “Mr. Marcus”
With porn being so accessible to men and woman alike, it’s almost impossible to really know what identifies as NORMAL sex these days. Pornography has definitely changed what people do behind closed doors. Living in a porn obsessed society has an unexpected downside. Here’s the deal, porn is no longer just a MAN’S thing. More and more women are frequenting sex stores to buy toys, movies, and even browsing porn sites to get their quick fix. With that being said, we have to come out of the fantasy world for a minute. Ladies, I know you have your favorite male porn stars but don’t expect your man to become “Mr. Marcus”. He is not an energizer bunny, your man is not a porn star. A lot of those porn stars take pills and other drugs to aid in prolonged stamina. Stop wishing for a 45-minute marathon, can you really hang?! Maybe some of you can. All I am saying is, you can’t be mad if he does not give you a 45-minute session every time. You will have to be content with a 10 or 15-minute most days. And if he does not deep sea dive as long as the porn star do; don’t make him feel bad. He doesn’t complain about how you don’t become a contortionist in the bedroom. Chill-Lax folks!
Fellas, I have to be a little harder on you guys. No, I am not beating up on you but come on! Women in 2014 are now expected to behave like actresses in porn movies and the emphasis is on “actress”. You know the saying, Ludacris said it best, “I want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed”. Hilarious right! Nope, it is so true. You expect your woman to wear many hats. She has to live up to the standard, “Feed me & Give me good loving”. Then she has to transform into a porn star in the bedroom in order to satisfy your sexual palette. She has to moan as loud as these “actresses”. She has to swallow, allow you to ejaculate on her face and breast. Not to mention, become a gymnast, contortionist, and everything in between. Say what?! Remember, these are actresses, they get paid to do these things on screen. Who do you see when you are in the act of sex, “Pinky & Buffy the Body”? Wake up and get out of fantasy land. I’m not saying that certain things are not up for discussion. What I am saying is that, some men have overused porn and can no longer tell real from fantasy.
For example, some of you want your fantasy fulfilled to be with two women. Hypocrites you become when she makes a request to have two men. If you can have two women, then she should have two men. You don’t like that do you?! So, stop demanding that she goes along with your fantasy unless you agree to fulfill hers. Secondly, just because you see a porn star doing anal, does not mean your lady is ABOUT THAT LIFE. I am sick and tired of my male friends complaining about their partners not doing anal. Are you kidding me?! Have you tried putting any foreign object in your own (turd canal)? Trust me, if you knew how painful it was, you would be more compassionate. Just because your fave porn stars seem pros at this, does not mean your lady will be. Again, let me reiterate, her name is NOT “Buffy the Body, nor is it Pinky.” My advice to you is simple and straight to the point.
Both partners should discuss what falls under the guise of uncomfortability. Once that is established, then you will have a better gauge of what is deemed tolerant in the bedroom. Remember it takes two to tangle; you two are a team, respect the other’s boundary once set forth. In retrospect, couples whom have communicated their likes and dislikes, go on to have an enjoyable sex life. In other words, sex is and will always be about the deep connected intimacy that brings so much meaning to a relationship. The bedroom is where the magic happens, if you keep forcing unattainable demands, you will see a real magic trick; she’ll (eventually) disappear.
3) When it’s done right, it is so good
Be honest with your partner of your likes and dislikes. Some women need foreplay before penetration. Therefore, it is up to her to communicate these things to her partner. Ladies, your man cannot read your mind, he is not a psychic; forget what you heard. His goal and aspiration is to satisfy you in every way humanly possible. He will go as far as ensuring that you reach your climax before he reaches his. Yes, there are selfless lovers out there. Fellas, be patient, some women require a little more attention/effort than others. If you are patient, you will get her juices flowing and she will be ready to receive you.
Ladies, what’s this about you giving too much teeth? Huh?! You got to be kidding me. A female told me that whenever she performs oral on her man, he stops her. I asked her if she knew what she was doing. She said, she guesses she does, she never really had a desire to become good at it. Say what! We are in 2014, if your man is stopping you that mean you are Wiggidy-Whack! My advice to her was to take a class and then practice. With anything in life, practice makes perfect! You may never have skills like the porn stars but you sure as heck can come close. Ladies and gents, this was meant to be an eye opener for us grown folks. I hope you learned a few things without me scaring you off. I look forward to hearing your feedback, good, bad, and indifferent. At the end of the day, this topic is REAL and honesty never hurt anyone.
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