We Need to Talk…
I walked to my car, afraid to look back to see if he were watching. I couldn’t find my car keys at first so I turned on the flashlight app on my phone, great; found it. I sat in my car and waited for the engine to warm up, as the weather outside was frigid. I watched the cold escape my mouth as little mini clouds filled my car and fogged my windows. I shivered uncontrollably until the lever went past C. I could have taken him up on his offer to spend the night but I wanted to speak to Shawn before I went to bed. I have no desire to catch feelings for Blake. He knows what this is. It is and will remain a booty call.
Relieved that the car was finally warm enough to drive, I turned on the heat at full blast. As I put the gear into drive, I heard tapping on my window. I almost jumped out of my skin, because he scared the crap out of me. I unlocked the door, afraid to wind down the windows and risk letting in too much cold air. He sat down in the passenger seat and remained silent. After a minute, he broke his silence, “are you sure you want to leave without finishing our conversation?” What is wrong with this dude?! We were in bed after our session and he wanted to cuddle and talk about our future. I told him, it would be awkward to do cuddle and do things that are symbolic to what couples do, as we are far from ever being that. I also stated that, it makes no sense to try to put a label on what we were doing because I am not leaving my fiancée. As soon as I brought Shawn into the discussion he shut down. I wasn’t going to negotiate my comfortability with this man. I told him that I really enjoy what we’ve been doing for the past month. However, I would really like to keep [emotions] out of our situation. Before he could respond, I jumped out of bed, threw on my clothes, and walked out. I felt like he wanted me to make a decision and I already made my choice.
He called my behavior childish and rudely insensitive. I chuckled. He stopped talking for a second and lowered the volume of the radio. I guess the volume was too loud or maybe, he didn’t like the Drake song playing over the speakers, “O to 100.” I guess that was making him feel uncomfortable. All I know is, this is not a conversation that is worth having. Nonetheless, I sat there and listened to him bitch and moan. I immediately felt like the dude in this sit-uation-ship. I softened up and interrupted by expressing how much I cared about him. As a matter of fact, I think because I care so much, it is best that we cut back on our frequency. I think, quite possibly, seeing each other three times a week is showing itself to be a bit much. He looked at me, pulled my face to his pillow soft lips and smiled. He kissed my forehead, the way I grew accustomed, and shook his head. As he reached for the handle to open the door, I stopped him.
“Blake. I think you should know something. I’ve been keeping a secret from you but I don’t think it’s fair for you to not know.”
Ok. What’s going on? Is there something troubling you?
“Yes. Shawn and I have decided to get married in two weeks. We are going to use our planned vacation to Jamaica, as a destination wedding. I just purchased the tickets for our parents today. Our two best friends will be the witnesses. I thought you should know that once I am married, we can no longer see each other.”
Are you kidding me?! Why would you marry him, if you and I both know that you are not happy?! If you were happy with dude, you wouldn’t be here with me.
“Yes, there are some things about him that I am disgusted by but the pros outweigh the cons. I am not satisfied with him in the bedroom but that’s mainly because once he turned 40, his man parts have a hard time staying stimulated. He has been taking the pills the doctor prescribed and they have been helping for the most part.”
LOL. So, you rather marry a dude that can’t keep it up?! I don’t need pills to keep it stimulated for you. I’m a year older than him and don’t have this issue. EVER! You are MORE than enough, to keep any REAL man stimulated. Why are you marrying him? Is it the money?
“Blake. Though I have financial stability with Shawn, we were never together for the money. I make my own damn money and don’t need him or any man to hold me down. Heck, I hardly need a man to satisfy me. I have toys that do a better job and cause less stress. So, if you really think, I’m with Shawn for the money, you are bugging!”
So, why the hell are you with me? You pull me into your world, only to dump me so easily. Do you even realize that I broke up with my girlfriend because I’m in love with you. I broke up with a damn good woman, that I was with for two years, to be with your crazy ass! And this is how you repay me?! You’re going to marry a dude that’s cheating on you with his former colleague.
“What did you just say?”
You heard me. Did I stutter?! Your fiancée is banging Emily. You know Emily, don’t you? I believe he mentioned that a year ago, you grew suspicious of their interactions. He said one night while he and Emily were away on business, you were blowing up his phone and he didn’t answer for an hour. When he finally called you back, he gave you some bogus excuse that the two of them were entertaining clients.
Just know that, he wasn’t with clients, he was with Emily. To ensure that you stopped pressing him for information. About two weeks later, he told you that she no longer worked for his firm. Something to the effect that she moved away to Chicago for a new role. Do you want to know why she moved? Hmm…
She moved because his assistant caught them making out in one of the conference rooms. When Shawn was confronted, by another senior executive, he told them whatever it took to save his ass. He threw Emily under the bus and she was laid off. They didn’t tell her why they were letting her go, they made it about performance. The assistant was debrief by Human Resources and warned that if she spread any rumors, she would be fired and sued .
Shawn felt guilt for being responsible for her termination. He decided to take matters into his own hands and reach out to one of our college buddies. He’s a Managing Director at Goldman Sachs and owed Shawn a solid. By the time, he convinced her to move to New York, he fed her the dream that he would eventually leave you and they would be together. Some riding off into sunset fallacy. She bit the bait and moved there. However, New York, isn’t quite Chi-town.
Now, let me get this straight. You paid for an apartment for him to move into, and live with, his side piece. Ha-ha. That’s some funny stuff.
Let me ask you a question, why haven’t you visited him at his place in New York?
When I spoke, it was to let him know that I needed to head home. He let himself out of the car and I watched him as he climbed the stairs and entered his home. He moved into his house a few weeks after the dinner at my place. Once he walked in and closed the door, I jumped on 95 North. I had a few things I needed to find out from Shawn.
I arrived at Shawn’s place about thirty past one. I had my girlfriend meet me at the building so she could let me into the premises. As she no longer had keys to the apartment, I needed to have someone let me in. I wanted to catch Shawn, if he were up to no good. Ringing his bell at one in the morning, was not going to be the wisest. I hugged her and told her that I was good and would call her once I was headed home. I walked up two flights of stairs and once I got to his apartment door, I put my ears to the door to listen. I heard nothing but the music blasting from the apartment three doors down. I forgot I was in New York, the city that never sleeps. I took out my phone and dialed his number. After three rings, he answered and sounded very groggy.
“Hey. What’s up babe?!”
Where are you?
“What do you mean?”
I said, where are you?
“I’m where I’m supposed to be, in my bed.”
Ok. Open the door.
“What?! Are you joking?!”
Nope. Not at all.
I heard footsteps on the other side of the door. I stepped to the side, so he couldn’t see me from the peep hole.
“Why are you playing with me? I am home babe, wish you were here.”
That’s sweet. Funny thing is, I am here. Come back to the door.
On his end, he grew silent.
“Oh okay babe. I am in the bathroom now. Let me take a whiz and I will be right there.”
I hung up and leaned against the wall in the hallway. I counted down how long it took him to come back to the door; five minutes. I heard a door close and then lots of movement but couldn’t decipher what caused his delay. I used this time to unbuckle the straps on my shoes.
When he opened the door, he looked visibly uncomfortable. I took off my pumps by the door and noticed a pair of black shoes, too small to belong to him. I shifted my eyes to the living room, he still had the television on. Nothing out of the ordinary, just Sports Center. I walked to the kitchen and saw two plates, one wine glass, and a scotch glass. I kept quiet because he was a wine drinker, why assume he had company. I walked to the closet door and he grabbed me from behind and pulled me into his arms for a warm embrace.
“Baby. I’ve missed you so much. What do I owe this surprise?”
Why are you trying to stop me from going into the closet door?
“Babe. Please, don’t start. You can go anywhere you like.”
I opened the closet door and found only containers and a few jackets. I closed it and walked over to the couch. I told him to join me so we could talk. It was then, I heard a noise coming from the bedroom. I jumped up and ran to the door. Once I got to the door, I put my hand on the handle and turned the knob. It was locked. I turned around only to find him by the main door.
Shawn. Come and open this door, RIGHT NOW!!!
He began walking towards me with fear in his eyes.
“Babe. I must have accidentally done that. Let me go and get a dinner knife. Maybe I can pry the door open.”
I noticed that he elevated his voice, when he said, “Maybe I can pry the door open.”
I heard wind blowing on the other side of the door. By the time he came back with the dinner knife, I had used force to push open the door. I walked in and saw an opened Magnum wrapper, next to his very messy bed. I noticed that the window was open and it was obvious that whomever was here, had escaped down the fire escape. I smelled the same perfume that was on one of his business jackets a year prior; Jadore. I walked into his walk-in closet and found two women suits, coats, and two shoe boxes. None of these items belonged to me.
“Babe. It isn’t what it appears to be. I let my boy use my apartment earlier. I came in from work and passed out.”
So, you mean to tell me that you jumped right into your bed, knowing that your boy had had sex in it earlier? Then you decide to leave the open condom wrapper on your night stand. Not to mention, you allowed him to let his female friend leave clothing here? Okay, if these items mean nothing, then you won’t mind me throwing them away?
“I snatched the clothing off the hangers and threw them on the ground. I stomped the shoe boxes and threw the shoes at him, in a fit of rage. Within seconds, I collapsed to the floor in emotional pain. I screamed at the top of my lungs and sobbed. I was certain his neighbors would call the police. I didn’t realize that he had his arms around me until I came to my senses. I threw his arms off of me and stormed out, but not before leaving my engagement ring on the kitchen counter.
By the time I reached my car, he was within inches away, still in boxers and barefoot.
<To be continued>
I turned the handle and walked into the candlelit room. They weren’t aware of my presence. Her back was turned to the door, as she straddled him and moved in rhythmic motion. I walked to the foot of the bed and watched until they changed positions. He noticed me first; he immediately flung her off of him. As she hit the floor, a sadistic joy resonated through me. I found pleasure in seeing her bang her shin on the edge of the bed when she fell. That’s what you get you nasty *#@%@^! Paralyzed in shock, I stood in silence for what felt like hours. The air smelled of pure shame. The initial shock I felt was mind boggling! Do I catch a case or walk away defeated? I wanted to destroy both of them, starting with Vince. But first, let me see how it feels to put my fist through his face. I snapped and threw the cable box with force in the direction of his head. He dodged it and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Julia sat on the floor with fear in her eyes. She screamed, “Baby!! NOOO! Please don’t do this!” Even in my rage, I could never hurt her. I was raised better than that. I ran out of the room and grabbed my gun from the linen closet. I B-lined for the bathroom, today he was going to learn. I broke down the bathroom door and searched it thoroughly. Vince, agile bastard, had jumped out the window and fled the scene.
I went back into the bedroom, sweat beads rolling down my face, where I found her on the bed in fetal position. Weakness hijacked my body as I fell to my knees, with the gun still in my hand. All of a sudden, it came; tears escaped me, accompanied with sobs. Within minutes, I felt her gentle hands on my face, wiping away my tears and kissing me softly. I felt like a baby in the only arms I found comfort. The gun fell from my grip unto the floor. I don’t recall how long we sat in silence but it was enough for me to think. A particular chain of events kept racing through my mind.Who was I kidding! I brought this to our relationship. I was the one that agreed to join Vince and his wife that night in Philly to a swinger’s party. Had I kept this lifestyle from Julia, then maybe, we would have avoided this catastrophe. I failed myself as a man and as a partner. She said she never done anything like this before and I persuaded her. My woman wasn’t a freak, at least that’s what she led me to believe.
On Cinco de Mayo, we decided to hang out with Vince in Philadelphia, PA. We drove up four hours from the DMV area. He said he had a packed scheduled for our visit. We did some touristy stuff; museum, shopping, and dinner at Ms. Tootsies. When both Julia and I eyes grew heavy, we decided to head back to the Loews hotel. Vince interjected, “Please come with us to a private party nearby”. Julia was in agreement, so we decided to go back to the hotel room to freshen up. We killed some time enjoying our suite and then took a quick nap. After our nap, we felt rejuvenated and took a quick shower together. As I began gently massaging oil on Julia’s back, my phone rang. It was Vince, “What’s up? I wanted to let you know that the less you wear, the more comfortable you will feel. No need to get suited up. Please leave the bow tie at home.”
Vince, what do you mean less is more? What kind of party is this? He laughed and said, “It’s a swingers party that my wife and I like to frequent when we are in town. It is a friendly and mature crowd of married and single couples. Everything is done in a classy, controlled, and confidential manner. Unless you’re afraid you might run into one of your students? LOL!” Mannnn, are you serious? Julia won’t stand for that. “Jay, come on cuz…didn’t you mention you told Julia your fantasy was to see her with another woman?” That’s besides the point; I’ve never been to one of these parties. All I know is what you’ve told me. What if it gets out of control? I’ll be damn if another dude even sneezes near my woman. What do I tell her? I want to go but fear her response. Help me out here, I’m interested! “Tell her that you would like your early birthday gift tonight. Just give her two shots of Hennessy, she’ll loosen right up. Trust me, I do that with my wife and she is normally swinging off the chandeliers by the time we get to the party. LOL! So are you down?” Yea, just give me twenty minutes.
“Is everything alright babe?” Sheila asked. Yes my love, let’s just have a drink before we head out. “Sure, I’m game”. Sheila replied. Let’s toast to a great night and keeping an open mind. That must have slipped past her because she said nothing. We had three rounds of Hennessy. I know I was wrong for trying to get her tipsy but she’ll forgive me. After we were feeling tipsy and mellow, we headed to meet Vince and his wife in the lobby. We walked into the party and Julia just jabbed me in my side. I half expected worst but my baby is open-minded, so she agreed to stay.
The first hour we watched and took it all in. We were the only ones fully dressed. People came up to us and asked if we wanted to “Play”. We found this all odd but didn’t know the swingers language. Then we saw her across the room. She must have been half Vietnamese and Black. She was built like a brick house- thighs and hips for days! Julia noticed her at the same time, we both said “DAYUUM!” I was almost knocked to my knees by her beauty but out of respect to Jules, I controlled my excitement. She spotted us, maybe because we were practically drooling. Seriously, we were obvious.
Hello, my name is Madam Elizabeth. I saw you both from across the room and wanted to come and introduce myself.
My name is Jay and this is my lady Julia. We apologize if we were staring but this is our first time and this is all very new for us.
Oh…newbies! I love newbies because I love to pop your cherries. I have been in the life for many years. This is my club and I personally want to welcome you. Let me show you around, there are different rooms you can visit. I trust you will find each room quite intriguing. Please Julia, take my hand, I promise I won’t bite- unless you want me to.
I was excited, mentally and visibly. We followed her around like kids in a candy store. The only difference was, instead of candy being sold, pleasure was on the menu; we couldn’t believe our eyes. There were showers, prophylactics, leather whips, neck collars, blind-folded people, videos, and things I can’t mention; surreal! We found Vince in one of the rooms with his wife and one of the off-duty officers. Let’s just say, it’s not my business what he and his wife does. By the second hour, Julia and Liz were like bosom buddies. Then it happened, so sudden, I couldn’t prevent it. Liz kissed me on my lips and I kissed her back; with no regret. Julia pulled her off me; it was obvious she felt some kind of jealousy. She stormed out of the club and I chased after her. For the remainder of the trip, she gave me the silent treatment.
When we got back home, she sat me down and addressed what happened. As we were talking, the phone rang. Sheila answered the phone and her face lit up. She hung up the phone and said, “That was Liz, she wanted to make sure we made it back safely.” What do you mean, that was Liz? “Oh, I gave her our number. Besides, she’s coming into town in a few weeks and wondered if we’d host her? I figured you would be ok with that, are you?” I am not sure how to feel, given your response to her kissing me. “NO! You mean, when you kissed each other! Don’t try to put it all on her Jay! You willingly kissed her back and you know it!” You’re right honey. I only wanted to stop the fussing and get back to watching the Heats & NY Knicks game. The sooner we get over with this, the sooner I can go back to the game.
“Jay, I think I am ready to experience this lifestyle but instead of a woman, I would like another man. What do you say?” Hell No!!! Have you lost your DAMN mind woman?! You can’t be serious! You are the BIGGEST hypocrite! She screamed.” Why is it ok for you to have your fantasy and deprive me of mine? If I can’t have my fantasy then you won’t get yours. Are we clear Jay?” Yes, we are clear. I wish we never went. Vince made it all seem so natural. “So you mean to tell me that Vince orchestrated all of this?! How could you allow another man to compromise our relationship?!” She was right; I should have never invited this into our relationship.
Liz came into town two weeks later. Julia said she’d prefer if she made it a girl’s hangout instead. I completely understood and felt relieved that I didn’t have to endure the awkwardness of seeing Liz again. I made plans to hang with my boys Jahson and Ben. We played soccer, had brunch, scotch and cigars at Oleo’s. I found it odd that Julia hadn’t checked in but I left it alone.
I got home after 11, walked into the bedroom and realized she beat me there. I saw flicking lights peeking through the bottom of the door. I turned the knob and walked in to find her soaking in the Jacuzzi. The candles were lining the perimeter of the tub. She quickly removed her eye mask, and smiled as she saw. Warmness fell all over me. “Hey Sexy! How was your day?” It was great beautiful, and yours? “It was great, lots of shopping and kissing? Beg your pardon? “You heard what I said; let me show you the pictures.” She asked me to pass her bag, which was on the floor by the toilet. I raced over to it and when I turned to walk, I saw something unusual.
Inside her bag was her underwear bunched up into a ball. I looked past that and fished out her phone. When I passed her the phone, she scrolled to show me the pictures but I had already lost interest. “What the hell is wrong with you babe?! Isn’t this what you wanted?” I’ll tell you what I wanted, as soon as you tell me why your damn panties are inside your bag? You better start talking and I mean NOW! She stood up and got out of the tub. I watched her dry herself and walk back into the bedroom; where I followed her lead. Are you going to say anything? I will not be ignored Julia! I grabbed her arm and swung her to face me. “Ouch. Get the hell off of me Jay. You play too damn much.” I stepped back and look at her face, it looked suspicious. When she spoke again, she started off with….
Thank you for reading Part II- Stay tuned to the final chapter to this series.
Can a Man Recover from his Woman Cheating on Him?- Part I “The Love is Gone and our relationship is dead”
As I sat in the therapist office, my eyes were fixed on the wallpaper. Julia went on and on about what led her to cheat on me. I decided to break my stare from the wallpaper and look in the direction of the therapist. I could not stare at Julia because I was utterly disgusted by her. Dr. Gyepi, sat in his chair jotting down notes, as if whatever he was writing was the antidote to repair our relationship. I only agreed to this therapy session because my mother convinced me to give it a try. Julia is lucky my mother likes her, most mothers would not encourage their sons to reconcile with a cheating fiancee. When it was my turn to speak, I took a deep breath but nothing came out. As I sat there, now looking at Julia, all I could see was Vince kissing on her neck and caressing her thighs. All my emotions resurfaced. I immediately stood up, thanked the doctor for his time and walked out. Before I could reach the elevator, the doctor was behind me. He escorted me to the lobby and asked for a few minutes of my time. He told me that he understood my frustration and disappointment in Julia. However, walking out at this stage, would not bring any resolution to our problem.
As we stood in the lobby and talked, I began to calm down. Shockingly, as I stood there, tightly clutching my fist, a stream of blood flowed onto my jeans. It wasn’t until he pointed it out, that I felt the immediate shock of pain shoot through my arm. The same pain that my body felt, when I caught my fiancee having sex with my cousin. I agreed to go back upstairs, as long as she did not interrupt me when I spoke. He promised me that he would “Manage” the appointment accordingly. We walked back into the room and found her on the phone. As she saw us, she told the caller that she’d call them back and whispered, “I love you too” to whomever was on the receiving end. Immediately, I thought she was on the phone with Vince. I brushed it off and sat down next to her. She scooted over, so she could be next to me but I told her that wasn’t necessary. I gathered my thoughts and asked if I could speak now? He informed Julia that she was not allowed to speak until I was finished. She obliged. I started off by sharing the day leading up to the event.
On the first Saturday in the month of July, I made arrangements to fly back early from a teaching conference in Texas. Delta was able to accommodate me and also waived my ticket change fee. Originally, I was suppose to land at Ronald Reagan International Airport at 1am. Luckily, I was successful in getting on a flight landing by 2pm. Since this was a surprise, I couldn’t have her pick me up, so I made arrangements to have a friend meet me. Everything worked out perfectly because I was able to get her the handbag, shoes, watch, and perfume she wanted. Now, all that was left was to pick up the bouquet of flowers from the florist. As I was on my way home, I sent her a text that read, “Hey babe, so sorry that I won’t be home to ring in your birthday with you. I know you must be disappointed but tomorrow I will make it up to you.” At this point, she still thinks that I am arriving at the usual time.
To my surprise, she did not text me back, which was really odd. Normally, when I send her a text, or vice versa, within minutes their is a response. I chalked it up to her sleeping, since she just did a 12 hour shift at the hospital. As a nurse, she does 12 hours straight for three days in a row. Lucky for me, the next four days she would be off, so we could spend some time planning our upcoming nuptials. I confess, I have not been as involved in the planning process but since we have only three months left, it’s crunch time. My cousin Vince has been very generous with funding the venue (including the food & liquor), paying for the entire bridal party tailored attire, as well as paying for our honeymoon. Vince is a businessman from Ghana, with a net worth of 12 million (USD). Whenever he is in town, he treats us to dinner and on occasion; he takes us shopping. Though I am not comfortable with this treatment, I never want to turn him down, it is perceived as being rude in my culture.
Vince and I grew up as best friends until I was 12 years old and my family decided to move to the United States. We grew apart and developed a competitive streak amongst each other. He started his own Investment Banking firm in Ghana and I became a Professor at a prestigious college. All in all, we are equally proud of each others success. His wife is a doctor and an amazing mother as well. No one could have suspected what was brewing between he and Julia. The betrayal by both of them is beyond words. I mean, he knows all about the “Guy Code”, you never break it! I could never bring myself to tell his wife that whenever he’s in town, he has a hooker to warm his bed every night. Or, that he impregnated one of the nurses at Julia’s job. Sadly, she miscarried at eight weeks into her pregnancy. No, I would never violate, loyalty is what I stand by.
I had Jason drop me off at the end of the block. I did not want to ruin the surprise by getting out in front of the house. I struggled up the block with my luggage, her gifts, and this gargantuan floral arrangement. I kept telling myself, it would be all worth it once her sweet luscious lips kiss me. So I pushed forward towards my home, until stopped by my nosy neighbor. Marsha was sitting in front of her home, smoking a Virginia Slim. I tried to walk faster because she is quite chatty. “Good Evening Jay! How was your trip? You look like you are struggling hunny?” All I could think about was, getting inside and seeing my woman. Hello Marsha! Good to see you. My trip was lovely. Yes, struggling a bit but I will be find, thank you! “So, why didn’t you have the guy in the black Lexus drop you off in front of your house? It seems very odd…but then again, I found it odd when your cousin went to your house today and you weren’t home.” Excuse me! What did you just say?
She pulled her nightgown tightly around her neck, in an effort not show the lack of clothing underneath. Not sure, why a grown woman would be outside with just a robe on. I digress! She asked me to walk closer, stating, “I don’t want no one to hear your business.” I quickly obliged, as I wondered what she meant by my cousin visiting my home. Marsha looked me in the eyes and said that Vince went to the house around 10 this morning and have not left since. She even pointed to his silver S-class Benz parked at the end of the next block. I did an about face and ran to my house. As I got through the front door, I dropped my things at the base of the stairs. I climbed the steps in an antelope kind of stride. Before I opened the door, I put my ear to it and listened. Through the music playing in the backdrop, I heard her moan in sexual bliss. I reached for the door handle and turned slowly.
Thank you for reading Part I of the III Part Series of Jay and Julia. Please stay tuned for Part II